The Tale of Two Shooters
by Pyra Storge
Summary: Black Widow and Deadpool rush on their quest to save the Realities from the mad Titan; Thanos. This tale will blossom bloody romances and battles between the Avengers and the X-Men in the midst of the Infinity Wars.
1. Chapter 1

_**Black Widow's/Natasha Romanoff's POV**_

She couldn't breathe. Natasha felt like her mind had been split in two. She felt absolutely tortured. A flash, then a burn, and then a unspeakable pain. She almost couldn't see, but she could make out the images of reality. Which was nearly being g torn from existence at the current moment. She saw the Earth's blue sky turned black in an instant. She saw the intergalactic stars and galaxies swarm around her at an unimaginable speed. She saw Thanos choking the life from Deadpool. Steve laid on the ground with his own shield splitting his spine. He spit some blood out and connected eyes with her. He pulled a revolver from his holster and slid it to Natasha. She grabbed it confused. She aimed at the back of Thanos' head and looked back at Steve.

"Last round," he yelled. "Make it count!"

Natasha narrowed her eyes and aimed at Thanos once again. She looked at the titans gauntlet holding the infinity stones. Before she could pull the trigger, a flash blinded her. She was ripped from her dream.

She was sweaty and gasping for breath. She stumbled from her bed to her sink. She splashed water in her face. She looked at herself in the mirror. She saw a woman who looked insane. She saw blood on one cheek. She touched her cheek and felt a solid cut that wouldn't leave a mark, but to hell it hurt.

She looked at herself one last time and left the bathroom. She saw grabbed a rag and wiped her face clean. When she touched her face and felt the scar had already healed. Just a thin line of scab that she brushed away cleanly. She squeezed her eyes shut expecting the nightmare to slip from her memory's grasp, but she somehow remembered every single detail. She tried the shake the uncomfortable feeling, but she couldn't.

 _Go on a walk_ , she thought to herself. She put on her bra she sneaked out of last night and put on her suit and slipped her wooly disguise over it. She locked the door behind her as she stepped into the cold Romanian light. She slowly exited the cluster of apartment buildings. She followed the frozen gravelly path to the secluded run down restaurant. She opened the door and stepped inside to the warm air that felt as toasty as a heated car on a rainy spring day.

She heard a little bit of crackling in her invisible earpiece. It was Nick Fury. "Good morning," he said. Natasha wiped her face and said,

"Hello."

"Get some breakfast, I'm in the corner."

Natasha put her hand by her side and walked to the counter. She requested a plate of meat and bread. She got a plate of sausages and stale bread. She walked to a table in the back, out of the public view. She sat across from a man with his head down and his face covered in heavy furs. She put a sausage on his plate with her knife. He looked up. It was Nick Fury.

"Good morning Fury."

"Good morning. How was your night in the town?"

"Disturbing."

"How so?" Fury sat taking a bit out his sausage.

Natasha took a deep breath and propped her elbows on the table. "I had this vision showing Thanos destroying all of reality."

Nick chewed and swallowed. "Actually, it's realities."

"What?"

"Let me guess, he had the Gauntlet holding the infinity stones."

"Yeah."

"Probably. I've been in contact with some sources. They say some space version of the Avengers are cracking down on this. We should be fine, but if worst comes to worst, we'll be getting prepared."

"So why did you bring me out here?" Natasha asked.

"Because Professor X hasn't been the most cooperative with me, so you're the only one I could think of that could handle this. Everyone else is on missions and this person has become quite a pain in the ass."

"Who?"

Before Nick could let out a word, she heard a loud crash come behind her. She turned in her chair and saw Deadpool drinking a bottle of hard liquor. He stumbled up to the counter. "Hey you," he yelled to the bartender. "Get me a bottle of liquor!"

"Sir, you already have a bottle." The bartender informed him.

"Shut up and take my money!"

"Okay sir," the bartender raised his hands. He pulled another bottle from the counter. Deadpool threw a wad of hundreds at the bartender. "Sir, you overpaid."

"Don't worry, I'll steal it from you when you aren't looking." The Romanian looked shocked.

"You looked worried," Deadpool said. He pulled a katanna from his back and put it to the bartender's throat. "You looked frankly scared. Heh, heh, frankly. Anyway... You haven't been really good to your wife. So, this is the part when I tell you, you have a bounty on your head. This is going to suck for you."

Natasha leaped from her chair and pulled her guns from her hips. As she was in the air, she took of her wool coat off and when she landed, she tucked her feet in and rolled. Her woolly pants came off as she rolled onto her feet. Deadpool looked her at her and cocked his head.

"Don't do it Wade."

"Why do you guys always have to intervene? Why do you always squash my spidery fun?"

"Shut up!"

"What? I'm making fun of Spiderman. I don't make fun of women who lose their husbands."

Natasha rolled her eyes. She aimed at Deadpool's head. His mask configured into a grin. "So you have a better deal." Natasha followed his eyes and saw he was looking at her breasts. She zipped the rest of her jumpsuit up to her throat. She pointed back at him.

"Hey," Deadpool gave little snicker. "You seem like you need me. I know that thing with Bruce didn't really work out, but hey, I'm always here."

Natasha pulled the triggers. Deadpool fell on the floor bleeding out. He got back up. "Damn! Even Domino gave me a chance. You only gave me two shots."

Natasha shot him in the knee. "Ah..." Deadpool moaned. "You just keep giving me more. You'd think my wife gave me more."

"You're not even married."

"Just give me more time and you would get more dialogue about my life."

"Shut up. Deadpool, we need you."

"For what?"

"To stop killing people."

"Says who?"

"Me," Nick Fury said standing up. Deadpool saw him and looked rather annoyed.

"What do you want this time?"

"To check up on some people and help me out by fighting some of your enemies."

"How much you paying?"

"One million."

"You know, you would sound more interesting if you sounded like the banker from Deal or No Deal. Deal."

Nick Fury nodded. Deadpool nodded and put a thumbs up as he pulled a tranquilizer out and shot the bartender. Natasha nearly fired again before she thought. Deadpool shrugged and leapt over the counter. He put a note on the Romanians' pocket.

"So," Deadpool said. "Who do you need me to kill?"

"Thanos."


	2. Deadpool and his Request of Payment

**_Deadpool's/Wade Wilson's POV_**

Deadpool followed Nick Fury and Natasha to a bunker. He let Nick Fury go first and then stepped down the ladder himself. He was led to a control room with multiple holographic boards and electronics. He became quickly obsessed with a gun rack.

 **You know, I never really got why every secret bunker has weapons. I mean, I know Natasha uses them every so often, but there's a reason she never had her own movie.**

"Deadpool!" Nick Fury yelled to get his attention away from the guns.

"What?"

"Get over here."

"Why does everyone have to yell at me?"

"Because you don't listen," Natasha said indifferently. She was sitting on a desk and crossed her legs. She started to stretch.

"Because you don't listen," Deadpool mocked her. "Keep up with that attitude, you'll never get your own team."

"I can undertake missions by myself," Natasha said.

"Last I checked, you only became realvent because you gave a little cleavage to the people who saw the Iron Man footage of you hacking a computer."

Natasha pursed her lips. Deadpool saw her twitching her fingers for her gun.

 **Maybe she'll be a good shot this time. The only reason she's here is because she would rather get boned by Steve than Ironman. Wait until they get a Hulk solo movie. That's when we'll see her again.**

"Hey Black Widow, how's it feel to be a damsel in distress during your time with Ultron. I'm sure Bruce-

"Shut up!" Natasha burst out.

"Ooooo. I'm so scared. I should run away from the girl who can shows up as the hot chick for show. The only reason you aren't the least favorite Avenger is because Hawkeye isn't a girl."

Natasha pulled a gun out and put her whole clip into his chest. Deadpool looked down at his wounds. He put a finger in one of the holes. He moved it back and forth.

"Hey Natasha! I'm fingering myself. You want to join in?"

Natasha pulled out her other gun and emptied her next clip into him.

"Oh my gosh! I'm about to have a organ-spasm."

"Deadpool, get a grip on yourself," Nick Fury yelled. "You are here to work with her."

"What?" Both Wade and Natasha asked.

"You will be working together. I need Deadpool to get a lock on a crew and right now Natasha, we don't have a mission for you right now. Tony is in working with Black Panther, Steve is in Canada with-"

"Oooo, that's where I'm from!"

"I don't care where you're from!"

"Oh."

"Anyway... Steve is in Canada with Bucky Barnes trying to look for some Banner." Deadpool noticed Natasha dropped her eyes.

 **See what I mean.**

"And right now Thor is on the hunt for the Guardians of the Galaxy. Dr. Strange has gone quiet lately, I need you two go look for him."

Deadpool raised his hands. "What about Spiderman? Can we bring him al-"

Nick Fury slammed his palm on the desk. "Does it look like I give a damn about Spiderman! I didn't ask for that mothafucker when the Avengers were in their civil war."

"Can I call my wife? I don't want to have to sleep in the hell pit if I get home late?"

"Does it look like I give a damn?"

"No," Deadpool muttered.

"Where do we look for him?" Natasha asked.

"I have Intel that he's residing in Mexico for the week. I'll inform you from there. Natasha, please take the plane and go to these coordinates." He handed a slip of paper to her with numbers scrawled on it. He also gave her a packet with the words; Confidential Information, scribbled in large red Sharpie. "And Natasha, do not let him fly the plane whatsoever."

Natasha nodded. Deadpool shook his head. "So what do I exactly get besides a paycheck?"

"Well, what do you want?"

"Anything I want?"

"No."

"Anything I want! Sweet! I want a pony in a shopping cart eating a chimmichanga with a really good looking girl."

Nick Fury scribbled everything he said on a sheet of paper. "Is there any particular girl you want?"

"Oh, yeah! I want someone in a black jumpsuit and red hair. Her name has to be Natasha Romanoff."

Nick Fury looked up. "Oh hell no. That ain't going to happen."

"Come on, I need her for literally for one night to meet some people special to me."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter. You either pay me or not."

Natasha huffed as Nick Fury sighed and wrote that down. "Anything else?"

"Nope."

"Natasha," Fury barked. "Get going."

 **I still don't know why they need me? Well, when I meet Dr. Strange... I can't wait.**

Deadpool grabbed a few guns on the rack and followed Natasha to the hangar. He sat down in the co-pilot seat. He pulled out his phone as Natasha sat down. He hugged her close by the shoulder and took a selfie. When the flash went off, Natasha had her gun touching his throat.

"If you touch me again, I will kill you."

"Pull the trigger," Deadpool mocked her with full knowledge she wouldn't. He started spamming his selfie all over social media. Natasha holstered her gun and took a deep breath. She pulled her hair back over her ears and closed her eyes.

"Get in the back," she said calmly.

"What?" Deadpool asked not looking up from is phone.

"Get in the back!"

"Because you're annoying."

"How?"

Natasha pulled her gun out and pressed it into his head. "You tell me."

"Fine." Deadpool got up and meandered to another seat. He kept his phone out as he opened a game app and started to play something about eggs killing bacon. Natasha took the plane and slowly started guiding it to the end of the airstrip. She started to take off. Deadpool looked out the window and watched them go from the ground up to the sky.

He played a little longer before he took a short nap.


	3. BestSummerEverWithMyHomeGirlWidow

**Black Widow's/Natasha Romanoff POV**

Natasha's grip on the planes wheel. She started thinking about what Deadpool had said earlier back in the bunker. _Was I a damsel in distress while I was captured? I did fight back all I could, right? Maybe I shouldn't have rejected Bruce just because I'm sterile. We could have had a life together. No, you had to get him away. He was a threat to everyone. But that was because he was under Scarlet Witch's control. Plus, don't I know a way to calm him down._

Natasha closed her eyes and took another deep breath. Then she heard a click and a flash light up her eyelids. She opened her eyes and looked back angrily at Deadpool. He was typing on his phone. "#BlackWidowisstillsadoverBruce," he muttered.

"Deadpool!"

"What?"

"Stop taking pictures of me."

"Oh come on. You are clearly asking for it."

"Cut it out with the jokes about me and Bruce."

"Why?"

"Because you're annoying me and you are blessed with it."

"Fine," he groaned. "I won't post this picture."

Natasha settled down back in her seat. She gave a big sigh. _Why the fuck not,_ she thought. "Deadpool," she called with a forced politeness.

"What?"

"Come sit in the copilot seat."

Natasha heard a big scramble to get in the seat. When she looked over, she saw Deadpool straping himself down with his seatbelt. He looked and sounded so giddy by the way he was slightly bouncing in the chair. "This is almost as fun as crashing the Blackbird."

With that comment, Natasha thought it would be wise to grip the wheel tighter. "So, um, Deadpool. Do you have anyone special in mind?" She was trying to make small talk.

"Do I ever! My best friend Wolverine is staying up late and partying. We like to have fun by him stabbing me while I do a booze run through the Mansion that Xavier owns. Something about the school for the gifted and specially talented, but none quite like me."

"Oh… Well, do you have a family."

"Well, other than a couple flings I had with Death, I'm happily married to the ex-bride of Dracula and I… Well… That's a surprise. I can already see the expression."

"That's nice."

"Now that I talked about my life, let's talk about yours."

Natasha felt unsure about sharing her life. This was a deadly assassin she didn't trust, but then again, the same could be applied to her. Then again, Deadpool was not to be overestimated.

"Um… I really don't really have a family. I suppose Nick Fury is a father figure, but we have never really expressed that. I guess there was a few boys here and there, but they were for one night stands. Never stuck around to have kids," she lied.

Deadpool made a mock cry. "That's… That's so romantic."

Natasha rolled her eyes. She looked down and saw the sea passing by at six hundred miles an hour. She looked ahead and saw land approaching. She steered it to the south side and started to slow down. Her coordinates weren't too far away. She hovered as she mapped out the computer data. She was right next to them, but suddenly, the whole plane turned sideways from an explosion. The plane started to spin in barrel rolls to the ground.

 _Two hours later…_

Natasha woke up with Deadpool crouching over her. He was holding a cell phone and on his mask was a adjustable fake mustache. He snapped a picture. He had turned off the flash on his camera. He then started to type on his phone. "#BestSummerEverWithMyHomeGirlWidow."

Natasha looked around. She saw the orange dust all around her. The plane was smoking in the distance. "Where are we?"

"In Mexico, the land of the heat and home of the chimmichangas. Look over at the village tourists, look at it, you'll notice the magic destroying it. If you look over there, you'll see the migrating birds. If you look over the opposite direction, you'll see the migrating people. They should take advice from the birds, America is great in the summer, but whoooo, when it comes to winter in the Rockies."

"What happened."

"My wife sorta got mad, so she asked Cable to talk some sense into me. Cable shot us out of the sky and I had to explain the mission. Then he yanked me out of time and let me save the world from demons from hell with the help of Michael Jackson and Marc Anthony. Then Bishop showed up and said we only needed to get some dude from France to blow up a planet and then Cable got mad at me. So then I had to call Preston to find the frozen remains of Walt Disney and transport him to the present and stop a rampage Blade from killing all the vampires."

"What?"

"I know you just woke up, but you have to listen. Anyway, get up. Doctor is in the village and I think he's up to some voodoo. Let's go."

Natasha took his hand and got up. They both ran to the plane and retrieved their weapons and gadgets. They ran to the village Deadpool pointed out. When they reached the village, they saw Dr. Strange was putting down a demon down with a binding spell. After a short chant of words, the demon disappeared. Dr. Strange turned around and blew air from his mouth in his exhaustion.

"Yoohoo, hey Doc!" Deadpool yelled waving his hand.

"Oh my gosh, leave me alone Deadpool. I will never teach you about magic."

"That's not why I'm here this time. Nick Fury wants you."

"Really? So why does Natasha have a dick drawn on her face?"

Natasha's eyes widened. _He didn't._ Natrasha never knew Dr. Strange for joking, but she was praying he was now. _Please,_ she thought. _Let the monk lie for once. If life means anything, let him be lying._ She pulled out her phone and put it in selfie mode. She looked at her reflection and saw the obscenity Deadpool had drawn. A circle over her mouth and a line pointing to a picture of male genitals.

She got it. #BestSummerEverWithMyHomeGirlWidow. She got the message loud and clear.


	4. X out Peace When Talking

_**Deadpool's/Wade Wilson's POV**_

He tried to stay as far away from Natasha as possible. She had been looking rather murderous ever since she managed to get the sharpie off with the help of Dr. Strange's magic. He decided to take off the adjustable mustache. He picked up a simple lunch of a tamale and followed Dr. Strange to a house on the outskirts of the village. There, Deadpool found a woman on the porch. She was sleeping in her rocking chair.

 **I'm not fond of horror movies, so maybe I can stop the** **creepy woman before she cast a spell on us.**

"So who's this?" He asked poking the woman with a sword. She didn't move. Dr. Strange looked back at him and cocked his head in surprise. "That's a decoy. It would be nice if you asked before stabbing. What if she had been alive?"

"Then she would've screamed for help," Deadpool said innocently.

Dr. Strange rolled his eyes. Natasha looked at him and mouthed, _What the fuck is wrong with you,_ as soon as Dr. Strange turned around.

 **Oooooo, Natasha said a bad word. Wait until Dr. Voodoo Strange hears about her saying** ** _curse_** **words. He would be so proud.**

Deadpool and Natasha followed Dr. Strange inside. Dr. Strange pulled a book from a shelf and put it on the table. He opened it and sat down. "What does Nick Fury want?"

Natasha pulled a bronze and copper disk out. She set it on the table and holographic Nick Fury appeared. "Stephen Strange, if you are listening to this, you will know about the disruption in the galaxies. We have found a team called the Guardians of the Galaxy protecting planets and they have recently found an infinity stone. They have now gone missing. We need your help by having you find them, get them back on the grid, and save the universe."

Nick Fury turned to Natasha. "If Deadpool hasn't been too much of a deal, despite that picture he posted online, I need both of you to find Professor Xavier. He seems to have a…relationship with Deadpool. Perhaps we can warn him of the coming war. Though we aren't exactly sure where he is."

"Oh, I know," Deadpool raised his hand and hopped on one foot from another. "Can I lead? Can I, can I please?"

Nick Fury put his fingers on his nose's bridge. "Natasha, you haven't let him fly the plane yet?"

"We have a situation. See, Deadpool's wife hired Cable to shoot us out of the sky in order to talk sense into us. We don't have the means of transportation any time soon."

Nick Fury groaned. "Strange can you-"

"Yes. Yes I can."

 **I can't wait until I see Wolverine. We might party again.**

Nick Fury turned back to Strange. "Also, we need you to secure the realities. Thanos has been slipping minions through and they have been destroying our patrol ships."

"Will do."

Nick Fury's holograph flickered and shut off. Natasha put the disk back in her suit's pocket. Dr. Strange rose from his chair and cast a ring around the duo's feet. Suddenly, Deadpool saw the world bend and color turn glassy and gray. Then the world turned back to normal. It was dark, but Xavier's Mansion glowed behind them. Deadpool and Natasha walked across the lawn and got to the door. He knocked and rang the doorbell. He looked back at Natasha and saw she wasn't too happy either.

Deadpool looked back at the door and waited until it was opened by a annoyed Storm. "Wade, we have been over this, we can't just let you in because you want to fly then Black Bird."

"I'm a changed man!" Deadpool said proudly and enthusiastically jabbing his thumb into his own chest.

Storm looked at him and was examining with a worried expression on her face. "Wolverine!" Storm yelled. Deadpool groaned.

"Storm, we need to talk to Professor X. This is bigger than your pesky little friends wanting to prevent me from coming in. The fate of the universe relies on this conversation."

"Are you drunk?" Storm asked.

"If I was drunk, do you think I would've brought her," Deadpool jabbed her thumb over his shoulder at Natasha. Storm looked over his shoulder and saw Natasha.

"Wade, I..."

"You know what, I don't have time for this." Deadpool turned away and dropped a flashbang before running around the house. He planted sticky bombs that explode upoun detonation. When he came back, Storm and Natasha were in the same place. They looked confused and blinded. Wolverine had Storm in his arms.

"What did you do?" He yelled.

"How's you're memory," Deadpool pointed a magnum at Wolverine's head. "You might not remember, well of course you don't, but you can lose your memory if shot in the head."

Wolverine looked at him furiously. "What do you even want?"

"A talk with Xavier."

"That's not going to happen Bubba."

"I have bombs everywhere. Try me."

"No you don't," said a voice behind him. Deadpool looked and saw Quicksilver. Natasha and Storm came out of their stupor. Natasha saw Quicksilver. "Aren't you dead?"

Quicksilver looked at his hands. "I don't think so."

Deadpool held up his hands. "Natasha, I think the little time travel they did is because Dr. Strange kept some things in place in reality. There were two Quicksilvers the whole time."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Neither does the entire X-Men. We just have to deal with it."

Cyclops, Emma Frost, and Colossus surrounded Deadpool. He laid his revolver down on the ground and pulled out a cellphone. He dialed in a special number. "What did you do?" Wolverine snarled.

Before Deadpool could answer, a light blinded everyone. When it faded, it was Cable in it's midst.


	5. Xavier and Fury

**Black Widow's/Natasha Romanoff's POV**

Wolverine let his claws tears through his knuckles like a fierce tiger unsheathing it's claws. Natasha stepped back in shock. First was a flashbang, then a hold-up, and now people from thin air. This seemed more complicated than how long it took for Bruce turned into the Hulk over a heart rate and she was the only one who could control him without taking over his mind.

Natasha put her hands in the air as Cable aimed a huge gun at the group. Deadpool waved to him. "Hey Cable, guess what's out?"

"Deadpool, this is no time for games. We need to be serious for this moment."

"Fine! Look, Cable, I need you to forget about shooting me out of the sky and explain to these people why we need to talk to Professor X."

Cable looked at the X-Men. He lowered his weapon. "Deadpool is right. We need Professor X in order to save the existence of anything."

"Who are you?" Cyclops asked angrily.

"Holy Shit!" A voice cried from up the steps of the mansion.

Natasha looked upandsaw a red haired woman. "What is it Jean?" Wolverine snarled, not taking his eyes off Cable. His fist were clenched so tight that his claws looked as if they poked an extra inch out.

"It's…it looks like it has something special. He is a child of mine, but he is not."

"Indeed," said another voice. Natasha followed her eyes to next to Jean. It was Professor X. "He is the son of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. But something is different about him." Professor X wheeled himself to a lift next to the steps of the stairs. As he came down the steps, he talked.

"This is the son of Mr. Summers and Mrs. Summers, but not our Mrs. Summers. It appears a clone has tricked us and conceived with this man who has appeared before us. Cable, if I am correct." Cable nodded. "Now that Mr. Wilson has gotten my attention by summoning a man who does not belong in this timeline, let me hear of this conversation he so desperately wants."

Natasha stepped forward and pulled out the disk. She threw it on the ground and a life size holographic Nick Fury appeared. Professor X reached ground floor and pushed his wheelchair to a stop in front of Fury.

"Xavier," Fury said. "I, the world needs you and your whole household to help us fight a war the Avengers or the Guardians of the Galaxy cannot win alone. We are going against a much bigger enemy than what you guys fought agfainst Apocalypse. We are fighting someone who could end the world and time as we know."

Professor X looked perplexed. He touched his finger tips together while resting his elbows on the arm rests. "Who?" He asked almost challengingly.

"The Mad Titan Thanos."

Xavier nodded and closed his eyes. "And if we were to help you, what do you want us to do exactly?"

"I need you to harness the power of the Phoenix."

"I wish I could tell you I could, but that is impossible."

"No…it is not," Nick smiled. "We have the materials and we need you to use it wisely."

Xavier looked confused and in shocked. "How? How? Tell me."

"That's why Deadpool and Natasha are there. Deadpool can be a host of the Phoenix. He can't die and he can't lose. Natasha will know how to end it all. She had a vision of what Thanos can do."

Natasha felt vivid tug of her dream she had in Romania. Xavier kept his eyes on Fury as Jean rushed down the steps to Cable. Scott was examing and meeting his future son. Wolverine was still worrying over Storm who was insisting they needed to check on the children. Deadpool picked the detonator off the ground and pushed the button. There was no explosions or any noise. Quicksilver smirked as Deadpool put his middle finger up.

"How do you plan on making the Phoenix accept Deadpool as it's host?" Xavier asked.

"That's why Natasha is here. She'll lure the Phoenix and Dr. Strange will force it into him."

"How does Natasha lure the Phoenix?"

"The Phoenix is searching for it's first female host. Natasha is bait and Dr. Strange is on stand by. He has recently gotten the Guardians on our side. Starlord is guiding his team to Earth now. After Deadpool has harnessed the power of the Phoenix, he'll be eligible to weaken Thanos. Natasha knows what's next." Fury smiled and walked to the Professor.

"If you truly need our help and this is the way to do it, then let us proceed with the plan."

Natasha gave a sigh of relief. Deadpool leaped in the air. "Yes! I'm gonna be the Phoenix! I'm gonna be the Phoenix! I'm gonna be the-"

Natasha turned around and pistol whipped him. He fell on the floor. She pulled the trigger, but not a single bullet hit him. When she looked up, she saw Quicksilver. All her bullets made a smiley face in a wall. He was casually whistling with his hands in his pockets as if he didn't intervene. Natasha also noticed her magazine in that gun was missing. "Hey," he shrugged. "I can't let you kill him. That's one of the rules of the house."

Wolverine put his hand on Quicksilver's shoulder. "Kid, it's okay. He can't die."

"Oh, really? Um, carry on then."

Deadpool put up both middle fingers as Natasha Putnam whole clip in her head. "The injustice," he cried. Natasha got a few headshots, but then mostly got him in the side and lower back. He crawled away and positioned himself on the wall. Natasha shot once more between his forehead.

"Why?" Deadpool asked.

"Because your annoying," Natasha said.

"Anyone else who is in agreement say I," Deadpool said.

Everyone including Xavier said the phrase.

"Dammit. Why does everyone rely on me?"

"Because you're always there when we need you there," Cable barked. Wolverine grinned and high-fived him.

"So when do we carry out this plan," Xavier asked with reluctantly. Nick Fury winked his one eye.

"As soon as you have a plane prepped and ready. Just promise me one thing-"

"No worries Fury. I won't let Deadpool fly the Bird."


	6. Phoenix vs Titan

**Black Widow's/ Natasha Romanoff POV**

Natasha gripped the edge of the ship. Space was never really scary to her, but knowing one tear in her suit could end her small pathetic life, it was nerve reacking. Natasha heard Fury's voice crackle in her ear. "Let go and grab hold of the asteroid."

Natasha did as she was told. She was completely weightless in the abyss of the black cold monster. Her fingers gripped on a few holes in the asteroid. She managed to get her feet dug into the asteroid. She looked around the black emptiness surrounding her. She gave a weak smile and tried to convince herself that she was safe and she wouldn't die.

She kept looking around and she saw Dr. Strange floating in between the rocks floating around. Natasha heard nothing but silence. She looked at the sun, which was just a weird ball that looked as if it was just another star in the galaxy. Smiling, she started to relax. Then she saw a sudden flare approaching her fast.

Natasha had to squint her eyes to get a better focus on the newfound light, but it didn't take long for her to realize that it was the Phoenix Force. She saw it zoom up to her and stop. The Force was in it's Phoenix form. It spread it's majestic fiery wings and stared intently into her eyes.

"Stay calm," Fury said. "Deadpool will be in position in about ten seconds."

The bird continued to stare at Natasha for a long moment. Natasha averted her eyes at first, but then she slowly lifted them back to the bird's eyes. The Phoenix gave a little chirp and leaned it's head closer to Natasha. Natasha rubbed it's beak and even gave a little smile to it.

The bird lowered it's beak and pressed it against the astronaut helmet. Natasha knew the helmet was heavily enchanted, but she could feel the glass straining and coming close to breaking. Natasha could feel the heat absorbing into her suit degree by degree and she was sweating in no time.

"Now!" She screamed. Dr. Strange bound the Phoenix with magical bonds and swung it into another asteroid. The Phoenix screeched and wailed as it struggled against the bonds. It coughed out fire. Dr. Strange threw it into a familiar red figure.

Natasha saw the bird dive from left and right to avoid Deadpool, but Dr. Strange kept it on the course he intended for it to go. Deadpool was waving his arms around and shouting into Natasha's earpiece.

"Over here. Come on, I know you can't miss throwing a fried chicken at me."

Natasha pressed on hand to her head until she remembered that she couldn't touch the earpiece embedded in her suit. Her temples throbbed as she told him to shut up.

The Phoenix cried and intercepted Deadpool. As the Phoenix sank into Deadpool's body, Deadpool yelled something unintelligible. His body began to glow bright orange and then the color faded and he returned to be normal. He gave a thumbs up and cheered for himself.

"I'm ready to fight Thanos. I'm ready to fight Thanos."

"Shut up," both Nick Fury and Natasha said at the same time. Natasha looked around and saw that the ship that got them here was trailing smoke. She looked around and saw the asteroid was flat. She started to climb the asteroid and knew the terrain all felt too familiar. Dr. Strange was aware of the ship about to crash. As the ship turned and crashed into Natasha's asteroid, Dr. Strange put a oxygen shield over the entire area.

Natasha felt gravity kick in and she fell on the ground. He helmet was cracked and shattered. The suit was now too heavy. She climbed out of it and she saw some people she expected to see and some she didn't. Steve was there brandishing his shield and Wolverine was unsheathing his claws. Tony was in full suit. Everyone else was dead, but they were only regular S.H.I.E.L.D staff.

Emerging from the wreckage was the most unexpected, the Mad Titan himself, Thanos and he had all the infinity stones in the gauntlet.

Tony tried to blast a beam of laser at him, but Thanos simply extended his hand covered by the gauntlet and pushes Tony back. Tony was killed instantly by snapping his neck on a rock. Wolverine charged and Thanos snapped his fingers. He was erased from existence. Natasha screamed no, but Thanos was in complete control. Steve threw his shield at him. Thanos caught it in one hand threw it back.

The shield sliced into Steve and forced him on his back. The shield was buried in his stomach and his spine to his lower body was clearly severed. Steve pulled a revolver and shot five rounds, but didn't make progress. He holstered the gun. Thanos bent over him and said, "Perhaps you should see your puny Earth die before I kill you."

As he snapped his fingers to transport them, Deadpool leapt into the oxygen feild and put both katannas in Thanos's back. Thanos turned in roaring pain as the galaxies swarmed around at an unimaginable speed. They were suddenly on Earth. The sky turned black. Thanos was holding Deadpool. Natasha looked at Steve and they met eye to eye. He pulled out his revolver and slid it to her.

"Last round, make it count."

 **Deadpool's/Wade Wilson's POV**

"You miserable wretch. You will never taste the lips of Mistress Death."

"You don't like me when I'm angry," Deadpool said.

"What?"

"It sounded like a good catchphrase."

"Shut up, Deadpool."

"Then you should have never blessed me with life."

"That was no blessing. That was a curse," Thanos snarled.

"No," Deadpool said. "Now I can kill you with a Phoenix."

Thanos's eyes widened. "No!" Deadpool kicked Thanos in the chest as a bullet hit him in the head. The Phoenix erupted from his body and consumed Thanos, killing him. Deadpool grabbed the gauntlet and snapped his fingers. He wiped Thanos and the Phoenix from existence and restored the world as it once was. Wolverine, Tony, and Steve were all well and confused.

 **Black Widow's/Natasha Romanoff's POV**

She looked around confused. She saw Deadpool destroy Thanos and the Phoenix. It was a weird site and something she didn't want to see again. Deadpool waved to them. "I did it."


	7. Epilogue

**Deadpool's/Wade** ** _Wilson's_** **POV**

A helicopter landed in a short time. Dr. Strange teleported next to Wade and requested the gauntlet. Deadpool gave it to him and Dr. Strange bowed. He disappeared. Deadpool gave a miniature salute with two fingers and turned back to the helicopter. The back door lowered and Nick Fury walked out.

 _ **Oh boy, watch the epilogue cliché of when I'm congratulated.**_

Nick Fury waved Deadpool and Natasha forward. They walked up to him shyly and he slapped Deadpool's shoulder. "Good job Deadpool."

"Whatever. Where is my fucking payment?"

Nick rolled his eye and told them to get in the helicopter. Deadpool sat down in one of the seats next to Natasha. Nick Fury sat across from them. Deadpool saw the horse in a shopping cart at the back of the helicopter. One of the S.H.E.I.L.D agents walked from behind the carts and she was carrying a plate of steaming chimmichangas. Deadpool gave a small clap and accepted the plate.

"Now, why do you need Natasha?"

"Here's an address," Deadpool dug a slip of paper from his pocket and gave it to Nick Fury. "Take us to it."

Nick Fury looked at it and called in a change of direction. Natasha scrunched her eyebrows up and asked, "Where are we going?"

Nick Fury looked at Deadpool and he put his finger over his masked lips. Nick Fury smiled.

 **Hope I'm not too late.**

In less than an hour of Natasha constantly demanding to know where they were going any them not breathing a word about it, the helicopter began to land. Deadpool looked at out the window at an all to familiar of a neighborhood. He got up and gave the plate to Natasha.

"Hold this," he ordered. He stood up and started pushing with inhuman strength the shjopping cart and pony. As the doors opened, he saw exactly who he wanted to see.

Ellie, his daughter.

"Happy Birthday," Deadpool called out.

"You're the best dad," the little girl cried.

 **Black Widow's/Natasha Romanoff's POV**

"Dad?" Natasha said confused under her breath.

Nick Fury smiled. Ellie introduced herself shyly after charging up to her dad and giving him a big hug. Deadpool hugged her back and laughed. The pony was also shy, but it slowly leaned it's head over to Natasha and chewed the chimmichangas off the plate she held. The horse snorted quietly.

Ellie was petting the horse and it gave her a lick at her hair.

"How did you know what I wanted?"

"Because dads know everything," Deadpool said.

Natasha had to step close to Deadpool and ask him the same thing.

"She was making a birthday list and she thought she wrote some nonsense. So my wife collected the balled up paper and showed me. Speaking of my wife," Deadpool let his eyes wander to the house. Natasha followed his eyes and saw a purplish woman in a skin tight, but revealing clothes was leaning on the porch smiling. She put one finger out and curled it, signaling for him to come over here. Natasha walked with him and the woman slapped Wade. Then she planted a kiss on his lips.

The woman looked at Natasha. "Who is this?"

"This is Natasha Romanoff. Ellie wanted to see her. Remember?"

"No."

"The one who's called Black Widow."

"No," the woman shook her head.

"The one you hired Cable to shoot out of the sky."

"Oh, hi." The woman extended her hand. "My name is Shiklah."

Natasha shook her hand. Deadpool back handed her. Natasha nearly fell down the steps had Nick Fury not caught her. "What the hell Deadpool?" Fury yelled.

Deadpool scratched the back of his head and tried not to make eye contact. "Well, Natasha was supposed to kiss her hand. And that was disrespectful in her times, so I had to do it. And if you don't mind, don't say hell. That's kind of where we live."

Natasha was getting angry, but she forced herself to kiss Shiklah's hand. Then Shiklah back handed her. Nick Fury caught her again.

"May I ask what that one was for?" Nick Fury said more amused than angry now.

"She a girl and she's traveling alone with my husband."

Nick smiled and Shiklah kissed Deadpool again. "So are we good?"

"Oh no Wade. You're still not getting out of your punishment."

 _ **THE END**_


End file.
